It’s quiet on my street
And the people around me
Look like bodies packed and buried in their graves
And I hope they find a way out before it’s too late
The worms creep in
But I call them my friends
They stop and say hello in the friendliest tones
And I thought I was alone
But death is always waiting for us
I can see my father’s face
I can hear his voice sometimes
He can still make me smile
He can still make me cry
On the curb into a phone
I thought I was alone
But death is always waiting for us
Death is always waiting for us
Death is always waiting for us.
I can't leave anymore
For if I do everyone will pass before I get home
You're filled with wanderlust
But I'm filled with fear, my feet don't move like they used to
'Cus I've seen the blackness that can fill your heart
And it's creeped into mine more times than I'd like
Everyone leaves at the wrong time
As if there were a right time to die
But if there were
I think he missed
And left a lonely little boy without his daddy
And if there were
I think he missed it
And left a lonely teenager to figure it all out for himself
I want you to understand
But at the same time I don't 'cus it hurts too much
I want life to be easy for you
But I can only do so much for the both of us
And I don't know much
But I know that I want to die with my hand in yours
I don't know much
But I know theres never a good time to die
But if there were
I think he missed
And left a lonely little boy without his daddy
And if there were
I think he missed it
And left a lonely teenager to figure it all out for himself
I don't sleep at night
I don't eat right
I don't think I'm living right without you
I don't see my friends
I don't see anyone
I think I've gone blind from loneliness
From loneliness
I don't sleep at night
I don't eat right
I don't think I'm living right without you
I'm locked up in my room
I got nothing to do
I'm just wasting away
Today's just not my day
This month just ain't my month
And the next ones not looking much better
Much better
I don't write anymore
I don't think anymore
I'm surprised I breathe anymore without you
But that next breath always comes almost too late
and my lungs fill up with nothing
I'm filled with nothing
I'm filled with nothing
I'm filled with nothing
I'm filled with nothing
("Lovely Day" by Bill Withers plays)
You're a sheep in wolves' clothing
Killing yourself slowly
Killing yourself slowly
Well you're out for revenge on everyone that doubts you
But nobody doubts you
So take all your pills
Better crush them up faster
Your demons get louder
So take all your pills
Grow up a little faster
No one will know it's just between us
I know you're scared
I know there's no light in your tunnel
I know it's all in your head
There are no real demons in your closet
Your on a firing line
Praying to no one
The enemy loads and aims his rifle
You just stare down the barrel
You don't even realize you are staring into a mirror
So take all your pills
It's all on your own time
You do it to yourself
You do it to yourself
I know you're scared
I know there's no light in your tunnel
I know it's all in your head
There are no real demons in your closet
I know you're scared
I know there's no light in your tunnel
I know it's all in your head
There are no real demons in your closet
I wish my voice was clear enough
For you to hear in Cali
I wish you could hear me when you sleep
Because distorted phone calls
Doesn’t feel quite like enough
I want my words to soothe your wounds
I wish my voice was loud enough
To wake up the dead from their sleep
I want to hear my father sing to me
"Desperado" and "The Smoke Song"
I haven’t heard those words in too long
I miss everyone all of the time
I miss those who are still in my life
I don’t think I’ll ever stop
Because I just don’t know what I’ve got
I wish my voice was calm enough
To let everyone fall asleep
People are just too god damn busy
But when I finally stop
What will my last words be,
Words from a song I wrote or an apology?
(“Are you happy?” “nope.”)
In my dreams my friends are laid out on hospital beds
In my dreams I see myself dying in car wrecks
Between my sheets I get no sleep
No sleep
No sleep
No sleep
Between my sheets I get no sleep
No sleep
No sleep.
I can see my fathers face
I can hear his voice sometimes
He can still make me smile
He can still make me cry
I thought I was alone
But death is always waiting for us.
about
A follow up to a previous EP posted on my old bandcamp. This was recorded entirely on a hand held recorder and nothing more. It's free, so take it dammit.
Providence, Rhode Island artist El Valerie delivers nine tracks of pure, blissful bedroom pop with an electronic twist. Bandcamp New & Notable Apr 14, 2022